Yesterday marked exactly five years since we received Molley’s referral.
Just a few days before our agency called to tell give us the news, I’d called the agency to put our adoption on hold. The economy had tanked in October 2008. A large sum of income we were expecting that quarter from Ed’s job was no longer going to come. We were still financially recovering from our first adoption. We knew tough times were ahead — and we were correct. My husband was laid off just two months after Moll’s referral – and I was a full time at-home parent.
So at the end of November, I called the agency and left a message, just asking them to call me back, not telling them why. We were, so we thought, at least six months away from receiving a referral. When the director called me on December 2, I thought she was calling me back. Turns out she hadn’t received my message requesting a call.
My husband was in town when she called, a rare occurrence back then. She gave us the incredible news and we just stared at each other in disbelief. We were not anticipating being anywhere near that point, plus we’d just decided to put it off even longer. I remember having to sit down on the kitchen floor to process it all.
This was one of the giant lessons I learned in life. We can’t really control much of anything. Sometimes, that’s bad. Sometimes, that’s really, really good. The year or so following was a hard one in many ways, but I cannot even begin to imagine what life without Molley would be like. I could not be more grateful that the agency had poor communication skills.
Molley Ann Tizita is one of the two most amazing human beings I know. She is kind, funny, beautiful – inside and out – stubborn as heck, generous, quirky, loving and loyal.
Adoption is about so much more than what Ed and I gained, but I will never, ever pretend that I’m not grateful for the opportunity to be her second mom, the one who raises her.
I know I say this a lot, but I both feel like I must have done something right in a past life to be this lucky in the current one and I owe the Universe something huge that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to produce. Parenting has been so much more than I ever anticipated it to be, and parenting children that were brought into the world by other women is a responsibility that I will never take lightly.
And in true Molley fashion, when I told her it was five years since we first saw her picture, she responded, “Oh cool! So are we going to have some treats and did you get a present for me? I’m pretty special, you know.” And she winked and walked out of the room.
Love doesn’t seem like a big enough word.