WTF Friday! Photos that will haunt you

I interrupt my usual Friday Fun post to bring you this series of photographs from the week. It’s likely because our lives are turning upside down – voluntarily and for the best reason ever – or it’s possible that it’s just life, but this week? Oh, it’s been a week. Thursday was like a Monday. But like the worst kinda Monday.

So instead of wallowing in the Thursday that felt like a Monday but was actually a Thursday, I’ll just share some classy iPhone pics – the highlights of each day.

Sunday

I have a huge issue with teeth. Like, let’s not even talk about teeth too much unless you want me to start sweating, shaking, rocking back and forth and humming. That kind of issue. Princess Sprinkles Cookie, in all of her perfection, has (had) a defect. Two of her baby teeth didn’t fall out when they should have. When she was nine months old – three months past the “fall out” time –  the vet asked if we waned to have her sedated so she could pull them.

She weighs five pounds and sedation worried me, so we passed. We’ve kept an incredibly close eye on them because we knew her two extra “baby teeth” could cause infection, abscesses or worse. Many months ago, she lost the first. A week ago, at the ripe age of 17 months, the second loosened while she was chewing her bone. Our third child let out a horrible screech. Ed knew what it was right away. He checked her about 12 times a day, and then on Sunday, he announced the tooth “needed to be extracted.”

I had no idea I was married to a vet/dentist.

So he laid little PSC on her back, on his lap, and PULLED HER TOOTH. I’m not funny/disturbed enough to make that up. Two things: (1) What is wrong with Ed?; (2) We have the most trusting dog ever born – this was a 10 minute process. She never struggled, resisted or cried. She laid on her back while my husband pulled her tooth with his bare hands.

Ed took this with my iPhone. I looked at it for the first time Thursday night for this post. I probably need (more) therapy now.

Monday

I went along for school drop-off. After we left Mattix at school at 7:45 (who sets the hours for school?!), we headed to Moll’s school. Except 45 seconds out of the parking lot, she informed me that there was “something in her nose.” Turns out something = the bead she shoved up there “just because.”

Four years old, intellectual ability of a 7-year-old, and she jams a bead up her nose. On a Monday morning. In the car.

Ed pulled over and, being without tweezers, I used the old plug one nostril, have her blow out the other technique.

I took a snot rocket bath and the bead shot a solid 10 feet. Naturally, I went out into the busy street to retrieve it. You’re welcome.

Tuesday

One of the ten Plagues of Biblical proportions has descended upon our SoCal dwelling. But instead of locusts, we have a major grasshopper issue that literally appeared overnight. On the first morning of said plague, my darling child was fascinated. He left the breakfast table to check it out. I went into my bathroom to brush my teeth.

I was interrupted by Mattix, who was yelling, “I got it, I got it!”

“It” = a grasshopper. In his hands. In the house. I ushered him back outside, then took a pic because, hello, major cuteness.

Also? It didn’t matter. I open up all three glass doors to the courtyard every day and by the end of the that day, three had let themselves in the house. Shudder. Bugs that jump are the worst kind.

Wednesday

You might think that worst part of my Pinterest fail was the fact that it sat in the fridge for three weeks and still looked remotely edible. (It wasn’t.) After I finished taking pictures on Tuesday night, I left those four lovely containers on the counter. A girl can only do so much in one night (write a blog about her Pinterest fail, work, think about washing her hair – those sorts of things).

The next morning, the kids saw them and Mattix exclaimed, “Oh, good, Mommy! You finally finished our treats!” I explained that (1) they were already rotten, even in the fridge; and (2) they had been on the counter for 12 hours.

The normal thing would have been for me to wash out the glasses. But I may or may not have been hoping Ed would do it because I was that grossed out.

That didn’t work out for me.

But Ed learned his lesson when he caught them eating it. At 5:30 pm. Oh yeah, that happened.

The above glass is what they went after.  At least he caught them before they hit the Jello layer. Because it looked like this:

Thursday

Ed was cleaning out the nightstand drawers. Most couples might have scandalous “toys” in their nightstands.

Not us. Please. We’re nearing the 12 year mark. We’re logical. Safety first.

Our nightstand contained a Certified Emergency Response Team Kit.

Which contained a “survival wrap” and whistle.

I don’t really even know what to say, other than there’d better never be a fire in our home where the kids could be saved by a whistle and survival wrap. That I didn’t know I had in the nightstand.

Along with Ambien that expired in 2006 and a special straw in the shape of, well, anyway, from a bachelorette party circa 2005.

Friday

Stay tuned. Moll is having major dental work under sedation Friday morning. If I have any photos to show you, they will be of me, passed out cold in the waiting room. I’m not even allowed to go back with her. Remember that issue with teeth? Yeah…

So how was your week?  

 

Tagged as: Friday Fun, humor, kids, parenting humor, photos, WTF?