Two years

On December 2, 2009, Ed and I very unexpectedly received Molley’s referral. I cannot explain how unexpected it was. We assumed it would be another six months to a year. We were going to put ourselves on hold on the wait list. We would have already been on hold if our agency had the ability to properly communicate.*

I’m tired tonight and I have a deadline for an article that is very important to me — for an adoption magazine — so instead of writing anything original, I’m going to copy and paste.

From the “secret” blog I kept from the time we received Moll’s referral until the time we traveled:

…It was our agency director, telling us we had a referral. I was truly shocked. I didn’t even know what to say. Halfway through, I interrupted to to ask, “So you mean this is a REFERRAL? …

At the end of the call, she asked if we had any questions (Ed was still on the phone).  I didn’t know what to say. I asked her if I could call her later after I had processed everything and told her we were truly surprised. I didn’t even know what to ask. She told me the email with her info and photos was on the way.

I walked downstairs with Ed and sat down on the kitchen floor. I was really THAT surprised. Sooo excited, but really caught off guard. We went back upstairs to check my email so we could look at her info and see her picture. It wasn’t there, so of course I called our agency director and asked about it. She said that she had put the file on a coordinator’s desk and was sure it would be there soon.

ARE YOU KIDDING?!?!?

I spent the next 45 minutes hitting refresh on my email until it finally showed up.

And she took my breath away.

Our baby girl’s name is Tizita,…

…Her referral came  on December 2nd, one year – to the day – after we received I600 approval to travel for Mattix. Coincidental? Nothing like making this Christmas as exciting as the last, huh?

…we were able to accept her referral on December 9th, one year – to the day – after we first met Mattix.

So, we will celebrate this Christmas with our amazing little man, knowing that there is an equally amazing little girl waiting for us on the other side of the world.

Referral picture #1  (October 27, 2008)

From this blog last year:

I’m pretty sure I’ve not told Molley’s full referral story on this blog. I know I told part of it on her PW protected blog when it happened, but I don’t think I shared the whole thing. So, here it is. It proves to me that often, the biggest things and the most important things in life occur totally and completely outside of our control.

One year ago in October [2008], the economy began to go to hell. Ed’s last company was greatly affected by this…By the end of October 2008,  when the whole bailout was happening and the stock market was tanking, it was becoming quite apparent that the bonus we were expecting that we’d allotted to continue to fund the adoption probably wasn’t going to happen.  We didn’t even know how ugly it was going to get…we were thinking no bonus, not no job…

Throughout November, we occasionally discussed the possibility of putting our second adoption on hold. In our minds, we had quite a long time until our referral, but we thought maybe we should just ask the agency to hold us in our current place until we felt a little better about everything…I sent [our agency] an email simply asking where we stood in line…

I didn’t indicate that we were considering [a hold] because we wanted to know our place before we took action. If we had a long time to go, we figured we’d continue to move up the line before we put ourselves on hold.

I didn’t hear from anyone at the agency for a few days. I wasn’t terribly surprised. I’d been informed that communication about these sorts of things – really pretty minor stuff when you’re just waiting – wasn’t the best. I do remember commenting to Ed that it was sort of annoying because I’d never once asked anything about our place in line and the fact that it was the first time I’d contacted them since I sent our dossier sort of entitled me to a response.

On December 2nd [SEE ABOVE. Basically, I thought our agency was calling to answer my email, but instead, they were calling to tell me about Molley.]

Referral picture # 2 (November 27, 2008)

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I read Molley’s referral paperwork today. It’s hard to read. So much loss…without which, she wouldn’t be my daughter. I will never cease to feel conflicted.

I love Molley so much it hurts. Literally. It hurts. She is an astounding little girl with a heart full of love, a head full of stubborn, a smile full happiness and eyes full of life. I am being entirely sincere when I say that I cannot imagine our lives without her.

She is the most special daughter, sister and granddaughter anyone could ever ask for. I am heartbroken that her other family is missing what we are so fortunate to experience. She is a gift to the world.

*I liked our agency, for the record. They just lacked communication skills.

Tagged as: adoption, adoption referral, referral, referral anniversary